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Tips for talking to your parents about senior care


It may have started with an argument over the car keys you hid. Maybe it was a fight about personal grooming or not taking much needed help. However it started, the realization that it's time to sit down with your aging parents or loved ones and have a big talk about the future can be a heavy weight to bear.

Apart from "the sooner, the better," it can be difficult to know just how to broach the subject of what's coming next in your loved ones' lives. Here are a few tips for having the big talk:

1. Use a familiar example. Starting the conversation by chatting about a friend, neighbor, person in the news or even fictional character going through something similar allows the topic to brought up without any finger pointing. Ask how your parent or loved one would deal with the same situation, and take it from there.

2. Make it about you. Bringing up concerns you have about how you yourself will deal with your loved one's future can ease the pressure. Ask how your parent or loved feels about you pursuing power of attorney or getting the ball rolling on a will, and let the conversation flow.

3. Listen with care. Don't take control of the conversation to the extent that you forget to listen. This is a difficult topic for everyone involved, and no one wants to feel brow-beaten into making a decision. Weigh all of the options, including in-home care and adult daycare, and take the time to really listen.

You won't be able to cover everything in one sitting, guaranteed. Set up another friendly chat for the near future -- particularly if things get heated. You want to make sure your loved one is going to get the right kind of care; it shouldn't be a relationship-ending argument

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